Status Thingie

Just gonna write statuses in the journals too.
So.. I'm going through a lot right now and I apologize if (for those who know me pretty well) I don't act like myself some days, while other days I might. I notice I cheer up some, but then later I might feel a little down.

January I lost my old kitty, Spicy.. I loved him sooo soooo much and that was very hard for me. He was in my life since I was three years of age. Life without him is weird. I believe I'm still definitely grieving him, and will continue to for a while. ;-; ...

The past few weeks my 9yr old kitty started acting a little different. She started eating less and it was becoming worrisome.. one whole week she wasn't eating at all. I told my momma and she mentioned giving her some treats so that it might would entice her appetite a little. When we gave her some she did eat them which was relieving. The next day she wasn't eating them anymore.. so we gave her some tuna and salmon hoping it would do the same thing as the treats. She did the same thing. Ate it all one day and the next she didn't.
Last week she was just laying in a chicken-like position and wouldn't ever lay on her side. She started ONLY drinking water. We noticed she started smelling.. like when Spicy was dying. It was worsening everyday slowly. We decided to take her to the vet Monday.. and turns out we had bad news... her kidney (kidney disease) was failing her and she was dying. They gave her some fluids and she felt a little better before yesterday, but the vet said she was in the process of dying already and her kidney was in the SEVERE stage..

The vet said when they gave her a pill to help her feel like eating, she started bleeding because she had ulcers in her mouth and throat..! QAQ We had to put her down yesterday and OMG IT WAS SO HARD. It goes against what we believe in so much after being with our other two cats when they died naturally... but she was so weak. And it would've been bad if we hadn't.

She went pretty quickly after they did it..
I'm just in shock a little since I JUST lost Spicy and only about a month later I lost another... not sure how to think about it yet. Only have my two dogs and Remy now. I'm kinda clingy to Remy since he's my last kitty now.. ;u; I still happy, but also sad. My emotional side is all over the place..

Losing pets is so hard.